EST. 2056
temporal portal online

TIME
MACHINE

wtf?
scroll
section 01

what is
time machine?

01 / ORIGIN
A portal from 2056. Currently experiencing minor temporal turbulence and unexpected beverage-related delays.
02 / PURPOSE
Designed to let you submit your regrets directly to the past. Success rate: approximately wtf%.
03 / STATUS
Operational. Operator slightly inebriated. Please allow 30–40 years for processing.
section 02 // about us

hi, this is
my website

be back soon!

We're doing important temporal research. Or maybe just having a good time. Probably both.

//
From the future
Arrived here sometime around 2056. Still adjusting to the primitive technology and the lack of hover-cars.
~~
Slightly confused
Time travel does things to you. So does the open bar at the temporal transit lounge. Both are fine.
::
Here to help
Genuinely want to fix your past mistakes. Hardware permitting. And sobriety permitting. Which is uncertain.
"i'm from the future,
but i'm still too drunk
to explain anything"
— time machine operator, 2056
buy Kekius Maximus
Probably the best investment decision in any timeline.
section 03

what would you like
to change in the past?

Submit your request. Our operators are standing by. Or sitting. Hard to tell from here.

Your request will be processed in 2–40 years.
[OK]

Thank you

Your data has been successfully submitted.
The machine acknowledges your regrets.